Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day: Lesbians Raising Daughters

Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day

Dieses von Dana Rudolph vom wunderbaren Blog Mombian ins Leben gerufene Format feiert in diesem Jahr seinen 10. Geburtstag. RFN nimmt nun zum dritten Mal teil und wie immer auf Englisch.

Lesbians Raising Daughters

Ages ago I read Jess Wells’ anthology Lesbians Raising Sons. We were thinking about becoming parents and imagined raising a son to be a challenging task. Raising a daughter? Surely a cinch for us feminists used to thinking about what constitutes being a woman in this world …
I don’t know if we were really that naive but after raising a daughter for almost 13 years with my partner, I think the topic of lesbians raising daughters worthy of many an anthology!

I already mentioned that we were seasoned feminists when we set out for parenthood, didn’t I? We also recycle, eat whole grain bread, subscribe to two daily newspapers, are active in community organizing – we hold a wide array of interests (nail polish and top models not among them).
Our daughter who grew up with the full range of toys and sports available to her is very interested in mainstream „girlie“ things: casting shows, fashion magazines, and, yes, nail polish.

It makes us wonder sometimes if that’s how our parents felt when we turned out so different from their expectations!

Which is where we come back to what’s really important: As all parents, we want our kid to grow up to be a strong, loving, assertive person with a high level of empathy.
And if I manage to overlook the types of shoes she’s drawn to, I actually think we succeeded pretty well with our daughter.

It’s one of the challenges – and the rewards – of raising a daughter that you learn that parenting lesson quickly that your child is not an extension of yourself but its own person with its own goals and values in life. It seems trite but I can tell you there are moments when you need to remind yourself of that truth so as not to tear up that misogynist magazine she’s reading, and trust in her basic good sense instead …